Hindsight

As I reflected on my first ever blog post (Am I doing this right? Does my blog follow the flow and purpose of other blogs?) I wondered how my daughters fit into all of this yoga business. Aside from them practicing with me when they were younger (and my oldest again recently), the one memory that stood out for me was the very first time I tried yoga. I was pregnant with my first daughter. It was 2002 and I had bought (or been given?) a VHS video. I proceeded to set up in my basement to try it. I don’t remember if I finished the video. I do remember that I felt a feeling I didn’t like and looking back it was possibly the first time that I recognized anxiousness as a state coming from inside of me (although I didn’t put it together that there was something inside of me to pay attention to until years later following the birth of my second daughter). Any other time I had felt anxious it seemed it was from an outside source that I could attempt to rectify or get rid of.

Another bit of hindsight was that I touched on neurodivergence in my first post and will mention that was something that would not be uncovered until just recently. For two years now, since being diagnosed amidst the journey of my youngest daughter’s diagnosis (which was also something that, in hindsight, I could have prepared for or paid more attention to earlier on had I known more about it) I have been able to relate with my experience of how I function in a friendlier way and find ways to improve my understanding of myself and how I carry out tasks (I don’t fall to sh*tting on myself as my first reaction as much anymore which feels less heavy and brings a more productive outcome).

I think of the quote “Life can only be understood backwards but it must be lived forwards” - Kierkegaard, when I think of how I might not have been as self aware when I was younger but I was self aware enough to know the path to take because my education and journey with yoga was the best one for giving me the opportunity to practice presence and healthy coping to manage the discomfort that could creep up over the years from life’s challenges and what was within me.

The birth and childhood (and now young adulthood) of my daughters has been a big catalyst for my journey to examine and reexamine myself, relationships and the world. While raising them (and with some hindsight) the practice of yoga in its many forms has been a steady presence. I remember one day working on my 300-hour certification and a question came up about a calm space or a safe space and my daughter said “You are my safe space.” Both of my girls have given me compliments and praise (verbally and unspoken) over the years and at times I have felt unworthy and grateful at the same time as I look back at some of the ways I have managed things in life and carried myself.

I am not big on regrets in life. I am big on learning and experiencing to best go forward with integrity and I continue to do that as I spend time with my girls and their growing worlds, share and grow my offerings and further my learning (on and off of a yoga mat).

Thank you for leaning in with me and I hope you’ll get something from continuing to check in on my sharing.

The beginnings of ReCreate Yoga

Where do we begin? It is not always easy or possible to pinpoint the beginning. It all begins with an idea - or a series of ideas, decisions and actions that bring you down a path to where we are. I think I always knew I wanted to have a business, I just wasn’t always sure what it would look like and I’m still not exactly sure. It is still evolving, just as I am and we all are. And everything is. Maybe this is where it starts….somewhere along the line of the creation and development of me, I acquired something currently being called neurodivergence and it all rolled (or ping-ponged?) from there. The only consistency with me is the journey to find consistency and maintain a semblance of focus and direction long enough to make progress that I can feel or piece together as meaningful.

I have had a collection of odd jobs and employment (none equating to a career as much as my yoga journey, though they have all guided and contributed to it). My last two roles have propelled me greatly in the niche I am in now and I am so passionate about. In 2017 I was recommended by a past co-worker for a role in behavioural support at a long-term care home where I spent time with residents and helped conduct meetings and trainings for staff to help with responsive behaviour in the home (“every behaviour is a request for help with an unmet need”) and it came at a time where I was still grappling with the way my father died in 2013, having displayed responsive behaviour which greatly impacted his experience and prognosis. I also had recently had a brush with cancer which caused me to deeply reflect on my life and my responses to life. In 2021 I again changed jobs because I was becoming disheartened with some practices in long-term care that I learned I had little agency to affect (though I had tried) and I had moved back to my roots (I was born in Ottawa, Ontario and have returned for the last 5 years). For the last 4 1/2 years I have been working in a program supporting and advocating for individuals who have acquired brain injury.

The bigger picture always captivates me as I am engaged (or trying to be) in a task. How does this all fit together? How does this serve the greater good? “The whole is greater than the sum of all of its parts” - Aristotle. Holisticness they call it? This is a very holistic story.

Like I said, my employment aside from yoga has coincided with, inspired and even guided my yoga journey. Since my 200-hour certification in 2014 I have taken the opportunity to take any and all (FOMO / lack of focus?) continuing education that remotely fit in my visions for my future and my offerings. I took more medicine wheel trainings (I took my first one with my sister (The North in 2013) after Dad passed), furthered my reiki (I had taken my first level in 2010 when I also began my therapeutic recreation education), and many yoga certifications. In 2022 I completed a certification for death doula as I view the journey of a human sacred and an honour to walk alongside at all stages and I envisioned myself working with people in the hospital or long-term care to some capacity with yoga. During my time with the brain injury program I have completed Love Your Brain certification to support individuals with acquired brain injury through yoga practices and a Heart Wise certification to support individuals with heart conditions (my younger sister had a heart attack at 39 years old and some of the individuals I work with teaching yoga at the local community centre and in my therapeutic recreation role supporting brain injury have been touched by stroke or heart attack). I have found many opportunities to bring yoga practice into my roles over the last 11 years.

Recently I began my certification to become a yoga therapist and re-established a business for yoga offerings (I previously opened a business in 2015 and worked in the community in various capacities until I took over a dance studio for a year and a half (which was a learning and growth experience) and then took time away from it to recalibrate and find direction again). I chose the name ReCreate not as a way to recreate yoga but to recreate ourselves in various domains (and our koshas) through our practice. I use the holistic background I have acquired and a holistic frame of mind and approach to create and hold space in my offerings.

Can you believe there are over 1.5 billion websites out there? And you showed up at mine….

I’m glad you did.

I hope you will stick around to read more and see where we are headed next (or listen - thanks to the many accessibility tools now available).